Right about the time your kids hit their early teens is when you pivot from bein…

Right about the time your kids hit their early teens is when you pivot from being an absolute super hero in their eyes to the Dumbest Creature on Earth. This pass through the Dark Side of the Moon of parenting may last up to ten years before, gradually, you become a tolerably smart person after all. I remember taking my young teen to Starbucks, not appreciating there was a specific lingo and correct way of ordering that all the kids knew. I blurted out, “I’d like one of those foamy milky things and how much coffee is in a Vendy, or Wendy? Is that like your Big Gulp? Can you tell me what flavors of the sticky stuff you have in sugar-free?” At that point, my teen just wanted to crawl behind the creamer cart and die. She’s making faces in a futile attempt to bear no genetic resemblance to me. Oh, the humanity! Many moons later, we found ourselves in line at Ivar’s. “Do you want fries?” I ask. “It comes with fries, Dad,” she deadpans. That’s right. I know nothing. “You can get it without the fries. I don’t want the carbs,” I explain. “I like the fries, Dad, but the fish sweat makes them soggy.” As I step up to the counter, my teen braces herself for what is sure to be a complicated and humiliating negotiation. In a clipped and even tone just loud enough for the fry cook to overhear, I rattle off, “Single solo and a Cajun, divorced. Walking.” Cashier nods and rings me up. Along the way, we have to celebrate our little triumphs.




Source

Some local news is curated - Original might have been posted at a different date/ time! Click the source link for details.

26 Comments - Write a Comment

  1. Loved Ivar’s, even the to go stuff like this!

    Reply
  2. I order mine without fish sweat.

    Reply
  3. you cant be serious about your coffee order. you can do better. respect the person behind the counter.

    Reply
  4. I absolutely refuse to use some of the Denny’s menu names. What self-respecting person can order a Rooty-Tooty Fresh and Fruity?

    Reply
  5. Great story, sounds sooooo familiar!!!!!!

    Reply
  6. My dad ordered 4 fish at H. Salt Esquire in Ballard, it was busy and he was tired and so he said… 4 fish, meaning four orders…he came home with 4 fish in a bag and a dumbfounded expression….42 years later I am still laughing…my Dad was funny in spite of himself, just like me..

    Reply
  7. There are many reasons why I don’t starbucks or any other coffee carts I want a cup of black coffee with my teaspoon of orange or blackberry honey added, I don’t even want to discuss soy milk or any of that garbage……

    Reply
  8. We were back visiting relatives in Bellingham in the early 90s. My sister-in-law, her friend and my wife walk into a coffee house. My wife just stared at the other two as they started speaking in tongues to the worker, er barista. Not comprehending a single word of their gibberish, she just said: “I’ll have the same as her.”

    Reply
  9. And at Ivar’s I ask for the 50/50 stack fish on one side fries on the other that way NO melted fries !!!!

    Reply
  10. Your kid’s right about the fish making the fries all soggy. I hate how they stack em up like that

    Reply
  11. I miss Ivars, moved to NCW but amazingly I could smell that fish looking at the picture! Gooood

    Reply
  12. oh i am now jones’ing for fish and chips from Ivar’s. and a cup of clam chowder. i have to wait till i come back for a visit in September.

    Reply
  13. When you might take them to school…drop me around the corner, please. And to her Dad…
    Those are the wrong kind of Levi’s. But we did get smarter by her college graduation. So true.

    Reply
  14. The only thing I order at Ivar’s is: “3 piece halibut and chips, frozen, no drink.”

    Reply
  15. I’ve ordered like that at the waterfront location. The looks I got from the tourists!!!😁

    Reply
  16. As always, thanks for the belly laugh, David!

    Reply
  17. Every part of this resonates with me. I have a young teen. In his eyes, I can do no right. But every once and a while, I get that smile and a coy “thanks Mom”… and I know all is not lost.
    Side note: at the waterfront Ivar’s you were supposed to call out your order from the back of the line so it’d be ready faster. There was a sign instructing just that. Not sure if it’s still there.

    Reply
  18. “Salmon solo, walking” is my usual at the Fish Bar.

    Reply
  19. Well I just have to say there is definitely a lot of spoiled kids who can afford to go to Starbucks and spend the kind of bucks they want for their product.

    Reply
  20. Great post. I am currently on the dark side of the moon with my son. Already passed through with my daughter thankfully.

    Reply
  21. Recently home (old) in Seattle, had to visit Ivar’s in Bothell. Thanks to good folks there we had fish & chips for 12. Everyone “kept clam”

    Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.